Spice!
by methemystery
Summary: Len, Miku, several other female Vocaloids, and lots of Spice- what can go wrong?
1. I don't understand 'love'

_Beep. Beep. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep._

My phone buzzes.

"Len. Seriously, where were you yesterday? Who was with you?" a girl's voice interrogates me as soon as I answer the damn thing.

I rub my eyes. I'm tired. It's four in the morning and this pesky girl's call got me up.

"Len? Hello? _Hello?_" she asks.

I jolt up; realizing that I must of not said anything.

"Wha…?" I slowly walk over the kitchen, cell in hand, looking for a pot of coffee that I could make.

"I repeat, what the hell were you doing last night?" she persistently asks.

"Writing… history essay due next week…" I lie.

"Oh, _really_?" she questions.

"Fine, ya got me." I smile. Coffee's almost ready.

"No, but seriously, you're not cheating on me, are you?"

I want to bash my head against the countertop. She got me up to ask me _that_?

"No, of course not, you're the only one for me." I take a sip of the coffee. It's perfect.

Okay, now that I'm awake, I can really have fun fibbing my way through this.

"Are you sure?"

Taking another mouthful of the liquid, I smile. "I _love_ you… ya really think I could do anything with anyone else?"

In all honesty, that's what I was doing last night. One of Rin- my twin sister-'s friends came over for a sleepover, and while Rin was actually sleeping, I took the opportunity to, um, do something with her.

"But I heard that some girl slept over at your house yesterday-"

I cut her off. "Yeah. I have a sister. She has friends. She hangs out with her friends."

She laughs. "Okay. But I wanna see you in person again! It's been so long!"

"Uh, sure, you can come over today." I shrug- even though she can't see me- and drink more coffee.

"I was thinking more like _tonight_, if you know what I mean." She insists.

"Okay, I'll see you tonight." I say, hanging up the phone.

Placing the cell on the table, I finish my coffee.

"Len?" Rin appears, fuzzy yellow slippers placed onto feet, flannel pajama bottoms, old sweatshirt, and bedhead. "What're you doing up?"

I shrug. "Someone called,"

"Well, can you please stop making so much noise? Luka and I are trying to sleep,"

Luka. That was Rin's friend's name.

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

After Rin leaves and I clean up the mess I made from the coffee, I walk away from the kitchen and back into my huge bed, thinking about how Luka was there last night and Miku- that's her, I'm sure of it- or was it Meiko? It might have been Gumi… - was going to be there soon.

That night, Miku stormed into my bedroom.

I flirtatiously push her out, lock the door, then unlock it and let her back in. She smiles, kissing me.

She presses herself against me. "I love you," I whisper.

But do I really? No. I don't understand 'love', don't know a thing about it, and basically steer clear of it altogether.

And I'm perfectly happy that way. Why is it even necessary?

I rip off my shirt. Miku seems completely oblivious to the fact that I just totally trapped her in my spell. Spice.

Spice is how I got Luka, Meiko, Lily, and the rest.


	2. Um… name it after me?

Miku marches up to me, a pregnancy test clutched into her hand.

_No. No. No, this can't be happening! NO!_

"Congrats, you're my unborn baby's father!" she scowled.

_NOOOOOOOOOO!_

"Um… name it after me?" I joked.

"Seriously, Len. You're a _dad_. Or will be in about eight months,"

"I love you?" I tried to say.

"No you don't. You don't understand love; you just understand how to cheat on your 'girlfriend' with several other girls who don't love you as much. You understand how to make a girl feel like the most amazing thing in the world, only to have her get dropped right down. And you know what? I'm still sticking with you. Even though I _know_ you're a total jerk, you captured me and I refuse to let you go. Even if that means you'll be my kid's father." She lectured.

I want to ask _how do you know?_, but I don't want to know the answer to that.

After dropping the pregnancy test to the ground, she shoves a wad of doctor's bills to me. "Oh, and you have to pay for these, too."

"Uh, you can get an abortion and then we can forget this whole thing ever happened?" I suggested.

Miku shook her head. "Nope, I'm going to make you endure this torture."

_No._

I turn around and start to walk away. "Sorry, Miku, but you're going to have to do this motherhood thing yourself."

She pulls on the back of my shirt. "No, Len. I'm not going to. You know why? Because I love you."


	3. Sorry Miku, not happening

About a week later, an angry Miku approaches me again.

"Drop down on your knees," she orders. I obey.

Miku hands me a box. "Repeat after me,"

I roll my eyes. Gumi was hiding in my room, Miku came at a really bad time. "Repeat after me," I say, just to make her happy so she'll hopefully leave.

"Will."

I repeat.

"You."

Rolling my eyes, I say "You."

"Marry me."

I begin to repeat until I realize what I'm saying. I stand up. "What the hell, Miku?"

She has this smug look on her face. "Yes, of course I'll marry you!"

"No way. Nooooooooooo way. Sorry Miku, not happening."

And at that time, Gumi has the worst timing, coming downstairs- where Miku and I were- in only a bra and underwear. "Um, I hope I'm not interrupting…" she mutters, turning bright red, and dashing upstairs.

"Who was she, Len?" Miku raises an eyebrow.

"Gumi, and if you'll excuse me, I'll like to get back to what we were doing."

Miku turns to leave, but before she exits, she calls out, "Don't forget about our baby!"


	4. Hate ya too

"Fine, I'll marry you," Miku rolls her eyes.

"What?" I ask.

"You know, you proposed last week?"

I shook my head. "No, not marrying you, no way, _NO_."

Miku stares at me. "You sure, Len?"

I sigh. "Honestly, I wish that you would get the hell outta my life, but I can't see that happening soon, so the least I can wish for is not to have to see you 24/7."

She honestly looks hurt.

"And if you'll excuse me, I'll like to get back to Meiko without you constantly interrupting."

"I _hate _you, Len Kagamine," she scowls.

"Hate ya too!" I call as she storms out the door.


	5. I can breath a bit easier

With Miku out of my life, I can breath a bit easier. No more worrying about being a father or being pressured to marry someone I don't even like…

Still, I can't help but feel really guilty.


	6. And that was the last I ever saw of Miku

Just when I've forgotten about her, she marches right back into my life.

Holding a baby, I might add.

"Her name's Lena," Miku smiles. "I named her after you, just like you said."

I grin. "You do realize that I won't be able to help take care of her, right?"

Miku nods. "I still love you, you know," she says after an awkward pause.

No reply from me.

"But I've come to accept that you definitely don't, so there's really nothing I can do."

Wow, Miku's finally not the Miku-monster's whose goal in like is to marry me!

"So if you could, please stay away from Lena? I don't want her knowing about how her dad was always with girls other than her mom,"

I sigh. "I guess I can do that- wait, Miku, you do realize that I wouldn't of been part of her life, anyway? I just don't have time to handle a baby now."

Miku rolls her eyes. "I was expecting some reply like that."

I laugh. "I'm that bad, huh?"

She smiles, her amazingly beautiful smile that made me like her in the first place. "Well, I guess it's as good as a time as any to tell you, but I'm moving to America."

"Wha…_what_?" I say, shocked.

"I want to put this life behind me, start over. I think it'll be best for Lena if she doesn't know about her mommy's tragic past. Not yet, at least." Miku explains, glancing at her watch and standing up. "Well, I should really be going now."

I kiss her. "Hate to say it, but I'll miss you. And Lena, too, of course."

She nods. "I'll miss you too."

—

And that was the last I ever saw of Miku Hatsune.


End file.
